Today I want to write about positive self talk.  Many of the people I see are suffering from a low self esteem and are unhappy with themselves and their life. Too often I hear these same people talking about themselves in a very negative way.  For example, earlier today one of my clients arrived for an appointment on the wrong day.  When she realised her mistake, she immediately started saying “I am such an idiot”.  I asked her to stop saying that, it is NOT TRUE!  She simply made a mistake.  It is important to realise that we may do some silly things or make mistakes (sometimes big ones!), but that does not mean we ARE silly or an idiot, it simply means that we DID something silly or made a mistake.

Some people tell me that they are positive and speak to themselves in an encouraging way, but as they talk, I hear them say things like “I am lazy when it comes to exercise”, “I can’t see why he/she would be interested in someone like me”, “I am hopeless, I can’t stay focussed to get my study done”.  Is this you?  You may say you are being realistic and honest with yourself, but do you want to continue like that?  If not, why not try saying these phrases instead “Let’s find some exercise I enjoy and have some fun”, “Of course he would be interested in me, I’m great!”, “Ok, let’s get stuck into this study, it will be more interesting when I understand it better”, I am sure you can improve on these and make them your own.  They may just help you like yourself better, and improve your life. Listen to what you say and how you speak to yourself, then ask yourself if you would speak to a 2 year old child in the same way and expect a positive response.  For example, would you berate a 2 year old child for making a mistake, or would you encourage them to do better next time with an indulgent smile?  Do you think you would respond better if you spoke to yourself in a gentle and encouraging way?  Especially if delivered with a smile.

Here is a beautiful affirmation that I found in the self help book “The Artists Way” by Julia Cameron – “I treat myself like a precious object”.  Ask yourself how differently you would speak to yourself if you put that affirmation into practice on a constant basis?

• ·         Would you forgive yourself for your perceived faults, failings and misdemeanours?
• ·         Would you eat more life enhancing foods? Or, if you ‘succumbed’ to the temptation of a luscious chocolate mud cake would you relax and enjoy every mouthful because you deserve an indulgence occasionally?
• ·         Would you exercise and look after your body better?
• ·         Would you speak to yourself with loving encouragement?

If you think “I treat myself like a precious object” will help you to treat yourself better and encourage positive self talk.  Say it to yourself and remind yourself to make a habit of speaking to yourself encouragingly and in a positive way and watch the way you feel about yourself change and your life transform.